5 AM

I promise myself that I will wake up at 5 am,

but 4 am I am up, thinking about how hopeless things have become between us.

I am an adult, 

supposed to be an adult, who wakes up early to get ready for the day's work

yet my day ends at 4 am

I think about you

about me

how helpless I am

how dissapointed you are

how dissapointed I am that I should be waking up in an hour

only to be sleeping through the morning

because the nights belong to you

or my guilt

I should have trusted you

if I did maybe I would be waking up at 5am